Did · you · know · you · could · fly

"My wish is for somebody to get a video of Glen Beck snorting cocaine off of a male prostitute's dick" -- slipjig


"These are bigger than I need" -- shadesong
"No comment" -- yendi


"Are we going to have some pussy pie?" -- aristabulus


"Where would you like Andy's pump?" -- gwynraven


"The boys took my knives away before I got the alcohol" -- shadesong


"Turkey fellatio is our new tradition" -- slipjig
"Turkey fellatio is also our new bandname" -- shadesong


"I have duct tape. I'm just sayin'" -- shadesong


"You're not going to tell him about the suppository, are you?" -- aristabulus


"You've just given me a whole new reason to hate needles" -- shadesong


"It's transubstantialicious" -- mikemarano


"I was in a foreign country, and she was hot" -- wildelven


"Is tribble gluten-free?" -- wildelven
"Is tribble kosher?" -- shadesong

Here is the Contents Page for Keeper of Secrets, aka the Liath story.

costive: (adj) 1. Suffering from hardness and retention of the fæces; ‘bound’ or confined in the bowels; constipated.
2. Of medicine or food: That confines the bowels, ‘binding’.
3. Slow or reluctant in action; especially in speech or utterance: close, reticent, uncommunicative;
4. Reluctant to give, niggardly, stingy.
5. Given with reluctance or sparingly.
6. Hard and impervious.



trull: (n) 1. A low prostitute or concubine; a drab, strumpet, trollop.
2. A girl, lass, wench.



yare: (adj) 1. Ready, prepared.
2. of things; in later use, (of implements) ready for use.
3. 'to make yare': to make ready, get ready, prepare
4. Alert, nimble, active, brisk, quick.
5. Of a ship: Moving lightly and easily; answering readily to the helm; easily manageable.



cantle: (n) 1. A nook or corner; a corner-piece.
2. A projecting corner or angle of land.
3. A corner or other portion cut or sliced off; a shiver, a slice.
4. A section, or segment, cut out of anything.
5. A thick slice or ‘cut’ of bread, cheese, meat, or the like.
6. A segment of a circle or sphere.
7. A part, a portion (viewed as separate).
8. The protuberant part at the back of a saddle; the hind-bow.
9. 'cantle bar': a bar in the saddle of a camel, in place of the cantle.
10. The crown of the head.



luff: (v) 1. Nautical: To bring the head of a ship nearer to the wind; to steer or sail nearer the wind; to sail in a specified direction with the head kept close to the wind.
2. To bring the head of (a vessel) nearer to the wind.
3. In yacht-racing: To get the windward side of (an opponent).
4. To obstruct (an opponent's yacht which is attempting to pass to windward on the same course) by sailing one's own yacht closer to the wind.
5. To attach (the anchor) to the ship's luff.
6. To alter the inclination of (the jib of a crane or derrick); to raise or lower in a vertical plane. Also with adverbs, as 'luff in', to raise (the jib), so moving the hook nearer to the operator; similarly 'luff out'.



lated: (adj) 1. Overtaken by lateness of the night; hence, overtaken by darkness, benighted.
2. Detained beyond the usual time, coming or staying too late; out of date, behind date.



nick: (v) 1. To make denial.
2. To deny (a thing); to disavow, refuse to acknowledge (a person).
3. 'To nick (with) nay': to answer in the negative.



muss: (n) 1. The mouth; a person's mouth. Used playfully, especially when speaking to a child.
2. A game in which small objects are thrown down to be scrambled for; (hence) a scramble. Also in extended use.
3. A girl or young woman. Chiefly as a term of endearment or affectionate form of address.
4. A disturbance, a row, an affray.
5. A state of untidiness or disorder; a muddle, a mess; messiness, confusion. In later use often idiomatically in collocation with fuss.



discandy: (v) To melt or dissolve out of a candied or solid condition.



estridge: (n) ostrich.



caressante: (adj) 1. Affectionate.
2. Soft.



scorbutic: (adj) 1. Of or pertaining to scurvy; symptomatic of or proceeding from scurvy; of the nature of scurvy. Of a patient: Affected with scurvy.
2. Of articles of diet, remedies, etc.: Good against scurvy, anti-scorbutic.



hautboy: (n) 1. A wooden double-reed wind instrument of high pitch, having a compass of about 2 octaves, forming a treble to the bassoon.
2. Humorously applied to a clyster-pipe.
3. A reed-stop on an organ.
4. One who plays a hautboy.
5. In Forestry: Lofty trees, as distinguished from shrubs or underwood.
6. A species of strawberry (Fragaria elatior), of taller growth than the common strawberry, and having fruit of a musky flavour.



turpitude: (n) 1. Base or shameful character; baseness, vileness; depravity, wickedness.
2. Foulness, offensiveness, unsightliness.
3. In plural: instances of the above.

"Finally, I have detachable penis" -- shadesong


"Years ago I gave you best cock on the block and I haven't given you anything since" -- slipjig


"Sometimes a girl just wants to sit back and be corrupted" -- shadesong


"No, I did not lose it because I was thinking about penises" -- slipjig


"Now I'm thinking about how to speak Italian in LOLcat" -- Elayna


"I'll be gentle, I promise" -- Elayna


"I'm a first wave Polly Pocket" -- gwynraven


"Hey, Adam?" -- everyone


"I just got hit with a mushroom stem" -- slipjig, immediately followed by a hail of mushroom stems


"What is in my hair?" -- slipjig


"Giblets are phallic. Thinking of you." -- shadesong texting to lbitw


"Mmm . . . dead flesh" -- yendi
"Mmm . . . zombie Thanksgiving" -- shadesong





And no, the guests haven't even arrived yet. There will more later :) I love my family!

ithyphallic: (adj) 1. Pertaining to or associated with the phallus carried in procession at the Bacchic festivals; specifically composed in the metre of the Bacchic hymns (the trochaic dimeter brachycatalectic).
2. Grossly indecent, obscene.
(n) 3. A poem in ithyphallic metre; also, a poem of licentious or indecent character.



ithyphallus: (n) an erect phallus.
[ok, all of you, stop your juvenile snickering now]


brachycatalectic: (adj) In Prosody: wanting one foot or two syllables.



herm/herma: (n) A statue composed of a head, usually that of the god Hermes, placed on the top of a quadrangular pillar, of the proportions of the human body: such statues were exceedingly numerous in ancient Athens, where they were used as boundary-marks, mile-stones, sign-posts, pillars, pilasters, etc.



dilacerate: (v) To tear asunder, tear in pieces.



laxate: (v) To loosen, relax.



mustulent: (adj) Resembling grape must, especially in sweetness; full of must. Also (humorously): intoxicated by wine.



must: (n) 1. In Winemaking: The juice of freshly pressed grapes before or during fermentation into wine; a thick, pulpy mixture of crushed grapes prepared for or undergoing fermentation. In early use also: new wine (more fully new must).
2. Any juice or liquid undergoing or prepared for alcoholic fermentation; the juice of any fruit.
3. The pulp of apples or pears which remains after the juice has been pressed out for making cider or perry. Also (rare): potato pulp prepared for fermentation.
4. More fully must apple. Any of several varieties of apple used chiefly for making cider.



involuted: (adj) 1. Rolled or curled up spirally; spiral; specifically in Conchology: having the whorls wound closely round the axis, and nearly or wholly concealing it.
2. In Botany: Rolled inwards at the edges.
3. Involved; entangled; intricate; hidden, obscure.
4. In Physiology: That has passed through the process of involution: the retrograde change which occurs in the body in old age, or in some organ when its permanent or temporary purpose has been fulfilled.



protonotary/prothonotary: (n) 1. A principal notary or chief clerk or recorder of a court of law.
2. The holder of this office in Roman Byzantium and later, by extension, in Rome.
3. In England: the chief clerk or registrar in the Courts of Chancery, of the Common Pleas, and of the King's or Queen's Bench.
4. In other countries: a (chief) clerk or administrative officer of a court of law, especially (U.S.) of a county court, or (Australia) of the Supreme Court of certain states.
5. In the Roman Catholic Church: More fully Prothonotary Apostolic (also Prothonotary Apostolical). Any of the seven prelates who form the college of notaries for the Roman Curia, signing papal documents, registering papal acts, etc. Formerly also: a title applied to certain papal envoys.
6. In the Greek Orthodox Church: The principal secretary of the Patriarch of Constantinople.
7. A chief secretary at the royal or imperial court in any of various countries.



condottiero/condottiere: (n) A professional military leader or captain, who raised a troop, and sold his service to states or princes at war; the leader of a troop of mercenaries. The name arose in Italy, but the system prevailed largely over Europe from the 14th to the 16th c.



iwis/iwisse: (adj) 1. Certain (subjectively and objectively). Only in Old English.
(adv) 2. Certainly, assuredly, indeed, truly. (Often with weakened sense as a metrical tag.)
(n) 3. Certainty; in phrase 'mid iwisse': with certainty, certainly (= preceding adverb); also 'to iwisse': for certain.



garboil: (n) Confusion, disturbance, tumult; an instance of this, a brawl, hubbub, hurlyburly.



exegete: (n) 1. An expounder, interpreter.
2. In Greek Antiquity: At Athens, one of those three members of the Eumolpidæ, whose province it was to interpret the religious and ceremonial law, the signs in the heavens, and oracles.
3. One who explains or interprets difficult passages; one skilled in exegesis; an expounder.



hypertrophy: (v) 1. To affect with hypertrophy.
2. To undergo hypertrophy.
(n) 3. In Physiology and Pathology: Enlargement of a part or organ of an animal or plant, produced by excessive nutrition; excessive growth or development. The opposite of atrophy.
4. Overgrowth.

Book #85 -- Justin Richards, The Death Collector, 293 pages.

A mystery set in late 19th-century London that is almost steampunk - the combination of early mechanics with living flesh is a major theme. It's quite a fun read.

Progress toward goals: 327/365 = 89.6%

Books: 85/100 = 85.0%

Pages: 21487/25000 = 85.9%

2009 Book List

cross-posted to 15000pages, 50bookchallenge, and gwynraven

Someone apparently thought it would be highly amusing to set off a stink bomb in the third floor stacks of the library. Exciting times.

Last night was a night of very little sleep and much disturbance.

I dreamed I lived in a house (a rather nice house actually), and I came home one day to find it completely trashed: papers and books everywhere, furniture torn or broken, mattress disemboweled, etc. And this cop knocks on my door and for some reason I'm only in my bathrobe. And she asks if anyone's broken in. I'm still in shock, but I show her all the destruction.

And she says there have been these people invading homes of anyone who isn't a good conservative Christian and trashing their places, taking whatever they think will most hurt the victims -- heirlooms, stuff like that. And I realise that a large portion of my books are missing, and all of my important momentos.

The cop lady tells me that they must have done it because I'm gay and a heathen. And she basically tells me flat out that while she'll report it, the case isn't really a high priority for the cops, and that her suggestion would be to move somewhere else and pretend to be the same as everyone else, so it doesn't happen again.

She was very apologetic, but her basic attitude was 'hey, that's the way the world is, and if you just go along it'll go easier for you.' I just felt so violated and *unsafe* It was horrible.

And then there was another dream involving sinister mimes. harkalark, that one's all your fault.

burnoose/burnouse: (n) 1. A mantle or cloak with a hood, an upper garment extensively worn by Arabs and Moors.
2. A kind of cloak or mantle worn by women, resembling the Arabian garment.



tumulus: (n) An ancient sepulchral mound, a barrow.



recondite: (adj) 1. Especially of a subject of study or discussion: little known or understood; abstruse, obscure; profound.
2. Of study, discussion, etc.: consisting in, or relating to, little-known or abstruse knowledge; esoteric.
3. Of language, literature, a literary source, etc.: obscure, little known.
4. Of a writer: using abstruse or obscure allusions or references.
5. Of a thing: removed or hidden from view; kept out of sight.
6. In Entomology and Botany: Not easily seen; hidden or concealed by another part.
7. Retiring; avoiding notice.



motet: (n) A short vocal composition, especially a polyphonic piece for liturgical use or for setting a religious text. In early use also more generally: a melody, a song.



satrap: (n) 1. A governor of a province under the ancient Persian monarchy. (In the Book of Daniel anachronistically attributed to the Babylonian empire.)
2. A subordinate ruler; often suggesting an imputation of tyranny or ostentatious splendour.



satrapy: (n) 1. A province ruled over by a satrap.
2. The dignity of a satrap.
3. The body of satraps.
4. The period of rule of a satrap.



tontine: (n) 1. A financial scheme by which the subscribers to a loan or common fund receive each an annuity during his life, which increases as their number is diminished by death, till the last survivor enjoys the whole income; also applied to the share or right of each subscriber.
2. A game of cards played on the tontine principle.
3. Applied to a friendly society which shares out its unexpended funds at the end of the year.



flâneur: (n) A lounger or saunterer, an idle ‘man about town.’



bouzouki: (n) In Greece, a sort of mandoline.



antinomian: (adj) 1. Opposed to the obligatoriness of the moral law; of or pertaining to the antinomians.
(n) 2. One who maintains that the moral law is not binding upon Christians, under the ‘law of grace.’ specifically one of a sect which appeared in Germany in 1535, alleged to hold this opinion.



bromide: (n) 1. A primary compound of bromine with an element or organic radical. Several bromides (especially those of ammonium, iron, and potassium) are in common medicinal use.
2. A dose of potassium bromide taken as a sedative.
3. A person whose thoughts and conversation are conventional and commonplace. Also, a commonplace saying, trite remark, conventionalism; a soothing statement.
4. A reproduction or proof on bromide paper; a bromide print.



astrogation: (n) Used by science fiction writers beginning in the first half of the 20th century to denote navigation of spacecraft, either in interplanetary travel or in interstellar travel. The mathematical principles governing interplanetary astrogation were derived by mathematical physicists in the 19th and 20th centuries.



brevet: (n) 1. An official or authoritative message in writing; especially a Papal Indulgence.
2. An official document granting certain privileges from a sovereign or government; spec. in the Army, a document conferring nominal rank on an officer, but giving no right to extra pay.
(v) 3. To raise to a certain rank by brevet.



autodidact: (n) One who is self-taught.

Book #84 -- William Shakespeare, Antony and Cleopatra, 87 pages.

Not exactly my favourite of Shakespeare's plays. In fact, I have to admit I find all the characters pretty pathetic. Does that make me a horrible English major?

Progress toward goals: 320/365 = 87.7%

Books: 84/100 = 84.0%

Pages: 21194/25000 = 84.8%

2009 Book List

cross-posted to 15000pages, 50bookchallenge, and gwynraven

Book #83 -- Elizabeth Mavor, The Ladies of Llangollen, 216 pages.

In 1778, Eleanor Butler, 39, and Sarah Ponsonby, 23, eloped. With each other. The two women set up house in a cottage near Llangollen, Wales, and lived there together until their deaths, over 50 years later. The Ladies of Llangollen, as they became known, attracted the interest and friendship of many of the influential figures of the times, from royalty to poets and scientists. Wordsworth wrote poetry while staying in their cottage, and they were great friends with the Duke of Wellington. Whether or not the two ladies enjoyed a sexual relationship is (and probably forever will be) a matter of speculation. But that they enjoyed a romantic relationship, and behaved in all ways as if married to each other, is a matter of fact. Their simple way of life, their humour and strong opinions, and their devotion to one another shines clearly through Sarah's account book and Eleanor's journals, as well as their voluminous joint correspondence. Elizabeth Mavor brings it all together in this wonderful biography of two extraordinary women, far ahead of their time.

Progress toward goals: 317/365 = 86.8%
Books: 83/100 = 83.0%
Pages: 21107/25000 = 84.4%

2009 Book List

cross-posted to 15000pages, 50bookchallenge, and gwynraven

Book #82 -- Kelley Armstrong, Men of the Otherworld, 369 pages.

This is Armstrong's charity collection of novellas and short stories focusing on the guys that flit around the edges of her popular Women of the Otherworld series. She has said there will be at least one more collection focused on the guys. This one focuses mainly on Clay and Jeremy, and fills in much of the backstory that was hinted at in Bitten. In the first novella we get to read about Clay's early life, and how Jeremy found him living in the bayous of Louisiana and brought him home and into the Pack. The second novella deals with how Jeremy became Alpha, and both novellas are narrated from Clay's point of view. The final short story is in the "present day" of the series, and is told from Jeremy's point of view as he finds out more about his mysterious mother and her people. As much as I love the women of the series, it's nice to hear more about the guys, especially Jeremy, who I've always loved.

Progress toward goals: 316/365 = 86.6%

Books: 82/100 = 82.0%

Pages: 20891/25000 = 8.36%

2009 Book List

cross-posted to 50bookchallenge, 15000pages, and gwynraven

détente: (n) The easing of strained relations, especially in a political situation.



moreen: (n) Originally: a strong ribbed worsted fabric with a watered finish, used esp. for making curtains and furnishings in the 18th and 19th centuries. Later: a watered furnishing fabric made of wool, cotton, or a mixture of these; (more generally) any heavy fabric with a watered finish.



syringa: (n) Any of the shrubs of the genus Philadelphus, especially P. coronarius, the mock-orange, having creamy-white strongly sweet-scented flowers, cultivated as an ornamental shrub.



ponticum: (n) A purple-flowered evergreen rhododendron, Rhododendron ponticum, originally of Spain, Portugal, and Asia Minor, but extensively cultivated in Britain during Victorian times, now widely naturalized and often regarded as an invasive weed.



bombard: (n) 1. The earliest kind of cannon, usually throwing a stone ball or a very large shot.
2. The ball or stone thrown by a bombard.
3. Bombarding volley, shot
4. A bomb-vessel or bomb-ketch
5. A leather jug or bottle for liquor; a blackjack. Probably from some resemblance to the early cannons.
6. A toper; a bumbard.
7. A deep-toned wooden musical instrument of the bassoon family.
8. A foot reed-stop of an organ.



toper: (n) One who topes or drinks a great deal; a hard drinker; a drunkard.



bumbard: (n) 1. A bumble-bee, a drone;
2. Also figuratively a droning person, a driveller.



saraband: (n) 1. A slow and stately Spanish dance in triple time.
2. A piece of music composed for this dance or in its rhythm, in which the second note of the measure is commonly lengthened.
3. A kind of Persian rug characterized by a pattern of leaf or pear forms.



ingurgitate: (v) 1. To swallow greedily or immoderately (food, or, in later use esp., drink).
2. To eat or drink to excess; to gormandize, guzzle.
3. To gorge, to cram with food or drink.
4. To swallow up as a gulf or whirlpool; to engulf.
5. Of a river: To discharge itself into the sea.



capacious: (adj) 1. Of such size as to take in or hold; able to contain; having the capacity of or to (with infinitive).
2. Able to hold much; roomy, spacious, wide.
3. Qualified, adapted or disposed for the reception of; Of capacity or qualified to do something.



lieutenantry; also lieutenancy: (n) 1. The office of a lieutenant.
2. Delegated authority or command.
3. The term of a lieutenant's office.
4. The district or province governed by a lieutenant.
5. The body of deputy-lieutenants in a county. Also, in the city of London, the body of commissioners (sometimes incorrectly called ‘deputy-lieutenants’), now usually appointed annually, who perform the duties of a Lord-lieutenant with regard to the militia and volunteers.
6. The bodies of troops under the command of the Lord-lieutenants and commissioners of lieutenancy.



weet: 1. To know (a fact, the answer to a question); also with clause as obj.
2. To know of something.



convolvula: (n) A winding plant.



enbonpoint: (n) Plumpness, well-nourished appearance of body: in complimentary or euphemistic sense.



lucerne: (n) 1. A lamp, lantern.
2. The leguminous plant Medicago sativa, resembling clover, cultivated for fodder; purple medick.



medick: (n) Any of various Eurasian and North African plants, chiefly yellow-flowered, constituting the genus Medicago (family Fabaceae (Leguminosae)), which resemble clovers but have spirally coiled, sometimes spiny, seed pods; spec. one of those grown for fodder or green manure. Frequently with distinguishing word.



accouchement: (n) Delivery in child-bed.



quoin: (v) 1. To secure or raise with a quoin or wedge.
2. To provide with a quoin or cornerstone.
(n) 3. Originally: an external angle of a wall; an outer corner of a building. Subsequently also: any of the stones or bricks serving to form this angle; a cornerstone.
4. An internal angle or corner of a wall, esp. of a room. Also: a recess in a wall, as for a gate.
5. In Printing: A (typically wedge-shaped) device used to lock up a forme of type.
6. In Gunnery: A wedge-shaped block used for adjusting the elevation of the barrel of a cannon. Also: a wedge used to keep a cannon securely in position.
7. Nautical: A wedge placed between or among casks stored on a ship, so as to prevent them from moving.
8. In Building: The keystone, or any one of the wedge-shaped stones, of an arch.
9. An angle; an angular object.

Book #81 -- Joscelyn Godwin, The Real Rule of Four, 171 pages.

Gives the background of the Hypnerotomachia Poliphili and its role in The Rule of Four, separating fact from fiction and providing annotations to the literary and historical references in the novel.

Progress toward goals: 311/365 = 85.2%

Books: 81/100 = 81.0%

Pages: 20522/25000 = 82.1%

2009 Book List

cross-posted to 15000pages, 50bookchallenge, and gwynraven

Last night was bad, not just in the I didn't sleep well way, although that was true too, but I had very disturbing dreams.

It started out innocuous enough (and actually kind of silly) in that I had some sort of paint gun thingy that I could point at various walls and carpets and make them turn into all kinds of pretty patterns (yes, apparently I played too much MySims) so I went to the grocery store and redecorated. Somehow, though, that attracted brownies (and not your friendly girl scouts). Real old style brownies, who were messing up the store because they assumed, understandably enough, that all the food had been left out for them. So I was with this team from this organization like the FBI, except we investigated all kinds of supernatural stuff too, and we were trying to figure out a way to get rid of the brownies without offending them, and thus bringing a heap of trouble upon ourselves. And for some reason, my cats were all in the grocery store, and the brownies were tormenting them, and I couldn't get them out. And I felt horrible, because it was all my fault for attracting the brownies with my paint gun thingy.

Then there was someone murdered in the grocery store parkinglot, while we were there even, and so we had to put the brownie investigation on hold (and I had to leave my cats behind) while we investigated this more serious crime. The murderer was a serial killer, and I got this big talking to from the head of the squad because apparently I was on probation because I was bringing back bodies rather than live prisoners a little too often from my cases. Each individual case looked like justified use of force, but put together they were forming a pattern, and the squad leader was afraid I was basically going rogue.

The problem was, he was right, because the organisation was so corrupt that half the people we brought in were out the next day on bribes, and I was so sick of seeing murderers and rapists go free I would look for any excuse to make sure they weren't going to hurt anyone again. So on this serial killer case, I somehow managed to get partnered with this guy who'd already gone rogue, and was essentially killing everyone he suspected of a crime, and he'd been wrong more than once and killed innocent people, so I was having this horrible crisis of conscience worried that I was turning into this guy, but trying to convince myself that I always made *extra sure* the people were guilty before I killed them, because I couldn't stand seeing them go free either.

And no, I'm not usually a 'shoot first, ask questions later' type of person, quite the opposite, really, but within the context of the dream it was so very real and I was twisting myself into all kinds of emotional knots over it.